The new office jobA woman accounts clerk was offered a job in another company,
and she decided to accept the offer because
the salary was better, the holidays were longer, and the
working day was shorter.
At the end of the week, she went out with her friends
to a restaurant. The friends all wanted to know about her new job.
“Is it a big company?”
“Oh yes, it’s huge.”
“Do you have your own office to work in, like you did
when you worked with us?”
“No, there’s a big open-plan office. We all work together
side by side - the accounts clerks, the
sales clerks, the draughtsmen and the draughtswomen.”
“It sounds like a lot of people. How many people actually work in your office then?
“It’s difficult to say because I’ve only been there a week. But it’s probably no more than half.”
The bad speller
The finance director of a motor components factory said to his secretary one morning,
“Mrs Smith, there are far too many spelling mistakes in this letter you’ve typed. Look at this!
“Business” is actually spelt B U S I N E S S, not B I Z N E S..
And “Wednesday” is spelt W E D N E S D A Y, not W E N Z D I. And look at this here!
“Fuel filter” is two words. It’s spelt F U E L, and then F I L T E R. It’s not one word
You’ve spelt it F Y O O L F I L T A. Mrs Smith, when you’re in doubt, you must use a dictionary.”
“But Mr Jones,” said the secretary to the finance director,”there’s no need for me to use a dictionary.”
“No need?” said the finance director in surprise. “Why on earth not?”
“Because I’m never in doubt.”
Getting married
A young couple were talking to each other on the beach.
The boyfriend said to his girlfriend:
“Darling! I love you so much! If we get married, do you think you could live on my salary?
I work in a car components factory so I don’t earn a fortune.”
“Of course I could live on your salary!” said his girlfriend. “But there’s just one problem,”
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Well,” said his girlfriend, “what will YOU live on?”